when you hear this and when you stand back and listen to it, you will cry
my name is marco george rudak and i give up with life.
how the world works i will never know. it has changed for me so much recently, feels so cold and fake. and i feel like people replace and forget and i feel like the intention is set out right in front of me. it makes me sad. if this was the path god chose for me then i have no clue what i did to deserve it.
i knew this would happen all along. my only reservation is i wish i didnt have the intellegence to predict and understand situations like i do.
i am not perfect. i am human. i like heavy music and before i turn 21 i want to achieve something with my life. this time next year i will have finished my uni course, and will be entering the raf. someone come restore my peace of mind and come make me happy. please.
most people dont appreciate music, and more often than not one genre always has to be better than another. grow the fuck up. you should listen to what you want, regardless of trends or what everyone else listens to. i listen and play the music i love because its in my blood and veins. my band is based on my own tastes as well as my bandmates. this is what i write about, what i take in and what i gain out of music.
this album has helped me so much and it only took me till the other day when i saw them live to realise it. there maybe huge parts of my life that are at an end or a stand still but it makes me feel good to realise i have this album to fall back on. this is probably one of the only 2 bands that stick out to me how much effort, aggression and emotion they put into their albums/songs/live shows. the biggest part of my life so far wouldnt have happened if i hadnt of realised how i felt watching it being performed at download in 2009. when i thought i was going to emigrate i listened to the title track in repetition cos it was the only thing that really made sense at the time and gave me comfort. and seeing them perform my favourite tracks from it the other night, including the ones they rarely play, it brought back a me id never seen in a while.
i have been so sad for so long, and i was sad too when i was watching it as it made me miss someone that was once so close to me, but this album is about dealing with how life works, and it made me realise i still have my life, i have my dreams and my ambitions. my band releases its first album monday, i hope to god in the next years to come people are tweeting/tumblring/facebooking about how its changed their life like this has changed mine.
when i look at simple stuff like the rain out my window i think my life isn’t meant to be as it is now, but since its ended up in this state i have to adapt to it.
i set myself some life tasks today for the next year, lets see how far i go with it.
i miss you to fuck :(
why is this so hard? nothings changed i am the same person who does the same stuff. everything is amazing for me apart from the fact i dont have you. i hate looking at stuff to do with you and remembering you, yet i dont wanna forget about you. why is this so hard :( i am sat here thinkign about you while you go about your life like normal, i pity myself im fucking weak :(
